Memories of Judy
If you have a memory that you would like to share,
please send it to us via our "contact" page.
From:
Marian Haley-Moss
I thought I knew my friend Judy Kass until I read her book about
Olivia de Havilland. I was surprised at the nuanced understanding and restrained compassion she wrote about this famous personality.
I realized then that Judy's intense and blunt persona that I was familiar with was only Judy’s protective defense of a sensitive and highly intelligent and remarkably creative soul hiding inplain sight.
Miss you Judy.
From:
Ilene Rapkin
My fondest memory of Judy is that we would meet in the lobby, by chance, and decide to walk together to 72nd Street. Sometimes we spoke of Milt and David and our children, but more often we talked about culture, philanthropy, society and how we felt about this changing world. Her genuine authenticity always touched me.
I miss her.
From:
Blakey Ross
For many years, Judy would send my two children a large manila envelope filled with the children's sections of The New York Times. She saved them up for weeks and mailed them to Miami Beach about every month or two.
We didn't buy newspapers, so opening that envelope was always a thrill. The kids would spread the pages out and happily disappear into them for hours. It became a small ritual, and I always snapped a photo to send to Milt and Judy. It was a thoughtful, generous thing to do, and she did it faithfully for many years. It meant a great deal to my children, and to me.
Miss you, Judy.
From:
Jean-François and Pierre
We had the pleasure of knowing Judy, of spending evenings with her and her husband in Miami and in Paris, which she loved so much. Despite my poor English, she listened to me attentively, just as I listened to her; I encouraged her to talk about her activities, about her professional life.
Milton is right to say that she was modest. Milton's account of her shows us how talented and enterprising she was. We must pay tribute to Milton for thus honoring the memory of his beloved wife.
We are and will always be by his side, cherishing the memory of Judy.
From:
Rebecca Driessen
My memory of Judy Kass sits on my kitchen counter next to the stove. At my "going away party" from Kass Associates, I was given an amazing bouquet of flowers presented in a navy blue glazed ceramic pot. To keep the flowers well "hydrated" while transporting them my new upstate home, I took the flowers in their pot. Little did I realize: Judy did not expect her pot would "disappear"; she presumed it would be returned to her after my party. I found out months later after Judy's navy-blue pot had become "home" to my metal cooking utensils.
Never do I cook a meal or clean my kitchen without thinking of you, Judy!
From:
Darrell and Kris Lauer
We first met Judy at a birthday party at the famous french restaurant, La Grenouille. At this party was a very close friend of Judy's from the scrabble community as well as a few of Milt's tennis players including Richard Soghoian, the very successful headmaster of Columbia Grammar. At that party we both felt Judy's warmth, her lovely appearance and her ability to make us welcome and happy.
The next time we met Judy was at our apartment for a Thanksgiving dinner. Judy had come directly from volunteering at a soup kitchen holiday dinner. We were very impressed with her commitment to helping others. Even though tired she was gracious and friendly. She was attracted to our wood burning fireplace and sat next to it, enjoying its warmth.
One thing struck us above all else about Judy. This was how her gentle loving manner was remembered by all that knew her. We saw this in the happy memories often expressed by even doctors who treated us as well.
Another time we were with Judy at their apartment for a delicious holiday dinner at which she demonstrated her marvelous recipe for cooking poultry. Judy added sweet potatoes in cooking the turkey which added flavor. This secret of Judy's has given her a permanent place in our families memories for we use it almost every Sunday!!
From:
Nick Vyssotsky
This is a very minor memory given all my experiences with my Grandma, but the other day I bought a pack of mango fruit leather at the store and it reminded me of the care packages she would send me when I was in college that were always full of dried fruits and nuts. I always looked forward to seeing those packages in my mail box and really appreciated that she went out of her way to make sure I was eating more than microwave ramen and frozen dinners while I was in school.
From:
Norman Graber
I first met Judy when I was around 9 or 10 years old, about the time she married my father's cousin Milton. They came to visit at my parents' apartment in Kew Gardens. I was sitting with her on the couch in the living room, chattering away at her. I remember her looking at me with a humorous smirk while I was trying to impress her with my conversation. Judy managed their conversation with considerable tact; and she avoided offending the undoubtedly obnoxious youngster that was me.
In the ensuing years, Judy and Milton often came to our apartment on a Saturday evening when my parents were entertaining my father's cousins. On those evenings, I would eat dinner on the early side so that I would not be under foot when the company convened in the living room and in the entry hallway that also served as our formal dining room. After eating, I would go into my parents' bedroom to watch television on the only set in the apartment. Judy would mingle with the adults in the living room and at the dining table. But she would invariably leave the adults when she tired of too much socializing, and retreat into my parents' room to watch tv with me. We'd sit on the bench at the foot of the bed, companionably watching "Mannix" or some other show. I thoroughly enjoyed that time with Judy.
I also enjoyed Judy's books on film actors. I particularly remember discussing with her the book on Montgomery Clift. It was validating for me to discover that my love of movies was shared by a serious adult who was passionate about film. And, of course, I admired that Judy was unapologetically herself and lived her life on her own terms.
From:
Lynn Cushman
I met Judy in the New York Scrabble Club in the 1990's. We became friends, sharing many interests besides Scrabble. She was down-to-earth, always good company , and a caring and supportive friend. With Milt and Marc, we regularly got together for dinner and/or a show, especially anything Sondheim. During the pandemic, one of my cherished activities was to meet Judy and Milt on their building's roof for an alfresco meal and a bit of much-needed normalcy.
I always picture Judy wearing one of her many beautiful and colorful scarves, that I think of as her plumage! And I can still hear her jaunty greeting, "Hi, Toots!"
Judy, I miss you and I am glad to have had you as my friend.